There For I Have Awakend

                              One thing I always try to avoid talking about is death. The sound of that word makes me cringe. It brings on these feelings that are overwhelming. One second you are here and one second you are not. We don't know when our final breathe will be. We don't know if we will be young or old, and if it's tragic or of natural causes. Those are the first two questions I always see people ask, I have even asked these questions myself.                  The early morning that Wee passed away my whole life changed. When I tell you it has changed that is no lie. There is this piece of you that goes with them when animals or humans pass away. There is this certain ache that doesn't go away and the tears just will not stop. This is this feeling of wanting something back so bad and not being able to fill that void. The days that follow nights and nig...

                              When you take a cat into your home, you know you love them with all your heart. One thing we don't think about is what happens to your soul when your beloved cat passes onto the rainbow bridge. We just love them and show them what love is. We take care of their needs mentally and physically. You make sure they are fed everyday, and they have fresh water. You clean their boxes and give them treats. Or you go and buy new toys you can see the excitement in their eyes. I don't think the love of an animal can compare to anything in this world.                        September of 2015 my wife and I took in two rescue kittens and they were 5 weeks. There was 4 siblings all together. We got the only girl and the spittiest boy. Another foster home had the other two.emaciated kittens. We named the boy Zeus and the girl Asia. ...

                "  I am afraid that the easiest way to get this tube out, is just to pull it out."                                             When I came out of surgery I had dressing on my stomach wound and dressing on the holes where they place the JP drain.  The Jackson-Pratt drain is used to collect all the reminisce of all the fluids and infections left over from surgery. The CNAs would measure the fluid in the JP drain twice a day. They want to know your output because they need to know if the infection is coming out. You don't want the fluid collecting. You risk infections and blood issues.                       I remember when I first noticed I had the drains. I didn't understand it but I knew I was afraid the drains would be pulled out. Everything at ...

                           Later that day I was told that I could get my catheter out. I was so beyond excited. A big reason why I wanted it out was because I had started my period. There was nothing comfortable about laying back in my bed. I hadn't known I started at this point. I was still on bed rest so I wasn't getting up. As females have their periods, some females may not. I happened to have my period be extremely inconsistent. Some months I would shed my lining. Others I did not. All I do know is if you are a female you get a double whammy. I would say that every month I become extremely flared up while having my monthly. So lucky me, I had to start at the hospital. That is probably why I had such bad cramps that day. I had sworn it was my ovary, but it wasn't. Or it was a little bit of ovary pain. They were quite worried about me. and the blood was coming out me black.        ...

I had opened my eyes from a short nap in the morning. Early in the morning CNAs would  come in and do vitals and then surgeon/doctor would come in to evaluate me. He would also check my wound. At this point I had not really seen what had been done. I had seen tubes coming out every orfus and I think we didn't touch the bandage right away.     This particular morning I was again woken up around 7:00am. At first CNA were coming into more often then not. At some points I was the only person critical at the hospital. The nurse would come in the morning to give out medications and also check bandages if they needed to be changed. I would also get my morning Heparin shot. Oh man the Heparin burned. They had to put it in my thigh and every time I got one they would  change sides. They also left this awful bruises and lumps behind. The Heparin shot was like fire. I had never really been a big fan of shots  so this was big for me. When you are on bed rest they...

                                   When I awoke from my surgery, I had no idea that I had been in surgery for 4 hours.  Finding out after having surgery that you were septic is frightening. You can die from sepsis. When my small bowel perforated I never thought about getting sepsis all through me. I knew it could happen but I was so drugged up that it was a blur.  My surgeon had really no idea how septic I was till he was opening me up.                                      I was in so much pain I and so messed up that when I woke up it was better we didn't talk much to the infection. It was a scary place mentally to be because you have no control of your body. I noticed I had these tubes on the left and right abdomen. At the end of the tube is almost shaped like a light bulb. When I looked a...