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Is what I am hearing true ?



              The morning came quickly and I was feeling like absolute crap. I had pain and I was sweating like a fool. I was npo which means nothing by mouth, and the cafeteria brought in breakfast which was liquid only. I looked at them and said " I don't think I should be having this. I have my NG tube in to take pressure off my bowel. 

             While I had been on this floor the surgeon had left for the weekend. She wanted to see how I was doing by Monday when she got back. I feel lucky though, because I was blessed with the best doctor around. He was the chief of general surgery, so I knew I was in good hands. I was really holding on the the hope that I would pass this partial blockage.

           Around 11:00am my doctor came in. I will never ever ever forget what he said. "We have found a hole in your intestine and we see air coming from it. Your surgery will be today at 1:00pm" Did I just really hear this ? I told the Dr that it only felt like a stitch. He decided he would check and he had me expose just my stomach so he could feel around. He pressed down and I don't even think that hard, and I belted out in pain. I thought "No this can't be real, I am not ready for this" Out of fright I said I was so scared. Then the on call gastro came in to check up on me I also looked at him and said "I am SO scared" He looked at me and said "I know you are, I am so sorry"

           This was it. My time. It's finally come down to the point of where people actually believed me. It came down to the point where my bowl had to perforate in order for people to believe the pain I was in. I felt so beside myself. I didn't have a choice in this. I had to do it. I had to be strong. I had no other choice. I had a different nurse that day, and she was new to this job, so she didn't have it down pack. She did not come in till 9am that day and I was so late on my medication. Since I had talked to the surgeon he wanted to get me started on antibiotics as soon as possible. It's a standard procedure when it comes to messing around with big infections. The doctor told her that I needed antibiotics. Hours go by and still no antibiotics. 

           It was getting closer to surgery. The nurse still had not put my on antibiotics and the NG tube the suction was off. They had everyone try and fix it that was aloud to. I was freaking out because I knew there was all this air and fluid inside me. I didn't want to die because this piece of equipment failed. A cna came in, and I will keep their name private. This person was not supposed to do it, but got my NG  tube flowing again. Just in time. The nurses that would be working with me in surgery and also getting me prepared. This was it. My time has come. Here we go and I can never come back to this. I got sent off with a bunch of well wishes. Everyone told me my surgeon was amazing and I would be fine. I was pushed away in my bed as my family followed. This is it.

        

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