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So many needles





                       Ever since I remember I have hated needles. I remember as a small child running away from the doctor when I needed shots. I mean one appointment I hide under the chairs and cried. So that's how i have always felt. 

                       I have had piercings & tattoos done in the past. I am always so nervous about the pinch and the pain of the needle. Sometimes it was a pinch of pain like when I got my nose piercing. It was a pretty big needle but it was so quick and rewarding for me. The first piercing was when I was a teenager. My mother brought me to the tattoo shop and I wanted to get my belly button pierced. At this moment it was all new and I didn't know if it would hurt like a shot. So basically I was scared shitless. I wanted the piercing so bad I was ready for the pinch. It was scary and my adrenaline was going all over the place, and so intense. 1,2,3 and in the needle goes. It goes in fast and comes out pretty fast. All they have to do is tighten the ring in your belly. It was nothing like I thought it would be. It did not hurt me at all. 

                      When I was 19, I got my first tattoo. I had this obsession with cherries. So I always wanted cherries tattooed on me. I had been thinking about it a lot. I had gone a couple times and left because I was not ready yet. Of course usually I was with someone and usually they were getting something done as well. So when I finally did I had a friend there but they were more involved with other people that were at the shop. So it was me and the tattoo artist. I told my tattoo artist I was pretty anxious. Just like the piercing I was terrified. I was even more terrified because it was more then one needle, it was a lot. I thought how will I get this if shots bother me. I know at this point I am 19 but I still hated needles just as much. In fact I would avoid shots at the doctor because I would be so anxious. So she puts the cherries I want on my lower right abdomen. This was everything I could wish  for. 1,2,3 here we go! You know it did for sure hurt but not as bad as I anticipated. I love this tattoo till this day. I was proud of going through it alone.


               Just a few months ago before my major surgery I was seeing my new doctor about how malaise I felt. I was so pallor. If you don't know what that means, pale. Like when you have the flu and you are nauseated and just feel awful. That type of pale. I had all these problems plus a few others at the time I needed taken care of. One of the first appointments was to get blood work done. So I had just recently had blood work from my GI but there were certain blood problems they didn't address. First of all people with crohns get malnourished so easily. There reason for that is because you are losing all the water while having loose stool.  which then you lose electrolytes. I could tell something wasn't right. I already have brain fog, but I was experiencing was not that, When your blood levels are messed up you can become b12  deficient.and iron deficient. A few other situations that come upon people with crohns. Being b12 defient is awful. It takes everything out of you. I was so low on b12 and the pills didn't work well with crohns.So my doctor and I decided that b12 injections were the way to go. All I could think is, here we go. I was scared of the ache that you get with the shots in the muscle. I had read somewhere that they can put it in the back of your arm and its not in muscle. So you don't have to have a heavy achy arm all day or for any further appointments.

               When i was at the hospital I was  deficient.in a lot of different blood problems arrive. You need to get supplements for what you are not procuding enough of, course by doctors agreement. Potassium is very large supplement that is beyond to big for me. I tried swallowing it when I was in ER and I spit it out. I knew I couldn't swallow it, So then they decided to put it in my IV.. I though this would be great, it wasn't. Oh my arm ached so bad. What happened to my IV why did it hurt so bad. When I say it was burning like acid was eating away at my skin. I couldn't believe how hot my right inner  arm felt. A Cna says to me I will get you a hot blanket and it should help the burning. Well it didn't.help at all.

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