When I was in high school we had an option to go to the United Technology Center. The United Technology Center is a vocational school. A vocational school is learning skills you could use to get a job. For example they had a year course to become a CNA or get a certificate for Culinary Arts. There were more to offer like computers and vehicles. They were big courses and you got 3 credits per a class. When you're young and an opportunity comes along like this you grab it. So I grabbed it and I felt good about it too. The first year I went to become a CNA. I would learn all the facts of the trade. There is important material I needed to learn in order to pass the test at the end of the year. I have some stories I will tell at later times about being a CNA and what that brought on. In the CNA course you get taught how to give sponge baths to those who are bedridden or people simply need help. So when I was taking the course and in clinical, I would learn different methods to use while bathing the elderly. I remember thinking when I was learning different ways to sponge bath people. I was praying this would never happen to me. It's embarrassing I am sure, to be cleaned by another person. Exterior body was much easier then having to bath their genitals. Can you imagine losing this ability ? I defiantly never did.
When I had my major surgery I was bedridden. There was no way I could stand up and reach anything. I was offered a a sponge bath more then once. I denied it so many times. I was so embarrassed. I had a few nights before surgery that I would sweat and sweat. Multiple nights I would get up 3 or 4 times to have my whole bedding changed and me changed as well. So yea I could have probably used a bath but I just didn't feel well enough to have one either. They would wipe my back down and I could get my neck and my face. I was freezing as it was while sweating so that was another reason. I had many amazing nurses and CNAs take care of me. One CNA I had 3-4 days after surgery was a sweet lady. At this point I was ready for a sponge bath. This was not going to be easy to say the least. I had to let my guard down.
For the sake of privacy we will call the CNA I had Emily. Emily was so sweet. She looked like she was in her later 40's and she was very well kept. I was pretty drugged so I don't remember much of what we talked about but I had a few memories of her that stuck. She was soft spoken and just in general a beautiful human being. Emily was who you would want to take care of you when you are in the hospital. She had me sit up which was a work out to me. So I sat on the side of the bed while she got things ready to bathe me. My guard went down a bit and I knew I needed this bath so I just did it.
First Emily got the water all soapy. Those bubbles looked so refreshing and the water was warm. I had a wash cloth lather my back. Oh my poor back, it has been so hot and sweaty. She would rinse the cloth and wipe my back then take the dry cloth to dry my up. Oh how the soap felt on my skin. I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I was. I thought it would be more scary. I thought this was going to be invasive but hey it honestly wasn't really. The soap goes down my arms and under my arms. I look at my under arms and I was starting to grow hair. I like to shave the under arms but at this point I couldn't, the soap was good enough for me. Emily and I then repeated what we were doing over my whole upper section and my legs. I felt so clean. Oh but I knew what was going to come next. I needed to wash my genitals, it felt so gross. I had a catheter for awhile and I just felt so nasty. I wiped as much as i could with suds and I needed to wash my back end. I tried so hard I couldn't move that way yet. I asked if she could help, so she kindly did. She proceeded to put deodorant on. Not the best kind it was a roll on but hey it was better then nothing. You don't realize how important the small things are until you are not able to do normal things to take care of yourself. She put a new johnny on me and the bed had been changed by other CNAs ( It must have been slow on this ward ). She then asked if I wanted my hair washed. Oh how I did. All they had was the dry shampoo. I had never used the dry shampoo but I was willing to try. She says you really need to work it in your hair till its dry. It took awhile but felt so good. My hair was clean, and it felt good. I was helped back into my bed. I was so exhausted and ready to just lay down and rest. I felt refreshed and it felt great.
Being hospitalized is hard. It's a place where I had a lot of firsts. First sponge bath, first hospital stay, first catheter, first Picc line , an many more. You do what you have to do. When you have no choice you just have to do it. No, getting washed by a CNA was not terrible. I was brought comfort during this really hard time. I got through this. I got a sponge bath.
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